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Sarah Mizes-Tan, Host: Hi all, Sarah here. For this bonus episode of “Mid Pacific,” we wanted to highlight another podcast we think is doing great work, “Vietnamese Boat People.” It’s a podcast about finding intergenerational understanding by telling stories of Vietnamese immigration to the United States.
It’s hosted by Tracey Nguyen, here’s a little taste of the podcast:
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[“Vietnamese Boat People Podcast” trailer]
Tracey Nguyen: My name is Tracey Nguyễn Mang and I was a refugee. I was born Nguyễn Quán Trường Anh in Nha Trang Vietnam. A post-war baby. My family risked their lives to flee Vietnam by boat in search for a better life. But we were not alone. There were millions.
[ocean wave sounds]
Man: Once you get to the ship. Don’t look back. Don’t look for Mom. Don’t look for Dad. Don’t look for anybody.
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Tracey Nguyen: From the rain and tidal waves, the boat was filling up with water. And she was afraid they wouldn’t make it.
Woman: The ocean in very loud. On the seventh day, there is a big storm. Everyone was panicking.
Man: And it was probably one of the saddest points in my life, the family being split apart at that moment.
Another Man: They kept saying you don’t know half the story, like you don’t know the real story and I was like, ‘Well then tell me!’ And they’re like, ‘We can’t. You would fall out of your chair.’
Woman: And I remember walking into fourth grade in Montgomery Alabama. The first day. And they stared at me and I stared at them and I just realized, ‘ohhh, it’s gonna be bad.’ [host laughs] And it was. Until I got my voice back. Until I learned enough English to yell back at ‘em.
Man: It was all about assimilation. I remember having friends over in our house and I was just making sure our house doesn’t smell a certain way. I was making sure it doesn’t smell like Nuoc Mam. [Tracey: [ laughs] Or mam ruoc.] Or mam ruoc or anything of that sort.
Woman: I think every Vietnamese American would agree when I say that living the United States means living in two very different worlds.
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SARAH: For “Mid Pacific” listeners, a lot of the goals of her podcast are similar to ours. Tracey is looking for points of connection in a group of people who are bridging two worlds and cultures.
I had a chance to sit down and speak with Tracey about why she began this podcast, and what she’s learned from helping others tell their stories. Here’s our conversation.
Sarah: Tracey, what inspired you to start Vietnamese boat people and what inspired you to start a podcast about sharing intergenerational stories?
Tracey: You know, it was roughly around the time when I was turning 40 and I came to the United States when I was three years old by boat with my mom and two sisters. And so, of course, at three years old, I don't remember any of this. Right. And I think growing up, a lot of us back then, you know, being a refugee was so much of a stigma. And the Vietnam War and the history of it was still just so recent. And so a lot of my upbringing was about assimilation and just, you know, really not trying to understand my family's history. And I would hear bits and pieces from it from my mom. But the men in my family, like my dad and my brothers, just never talked about our lives in Vietnam.
And I turned 40 and my dad turned 80 and my youngest child had just turned two. And so for me, I just thought, I don't know how much longer mom and dad are going to be around, and I don't know any of this to be able to pass on to my two children. And that's when I started to just say, you know what, I need to record this and I need to do it now. And I felt this sense of urgency. And so that's how the podcast began.
Sarah: You know, we just had an episode come out about the complexity of the Asian mother-daughter relationship. And you just mentioned that this is in a subject area that had really hit home with you. What's been your experience with the Asian mother-daughter relationship?
Tracey: Yeah, it's a very interesting one because I've heard a variety of, like mother-daughter or it's really the eldest daughter where most of the tension lies. And I know from my family it's kind of a running joke. I have two older sisters and my mother and I get along really well. But my older sister and my mom do clash a lot. And so we've done a couple of episodes where we've had interviewees talk about mother-daughter relationships, and some of them are beautiful and very, you know, tight knit and close. And there are others where it's extremely complicated. You know, sometimes children can feel a lot of pressure to live up to, you know, sort of like what their parents think that their lives should be. And I think in general, as a parent, I feel like that's just a common theme across parent-child relationships. But I think for the Vietnamese diaspora, it's more complicated because of the history of how we immigrated to countries like America, you know, and just the history of war and conflict and struggle in our community being in Vietnam.
But I think for mothers and daughters, I think, you know, and I'm only going to speak from my experience because I think, you know, it's hard to generalize because I've done so many interviews and the relationships have been quite different across, you know, people that I've interviewed. But for me, you know, my mom raised us with this intense passion about, you know, what it means to be a Vietnamese woman and, you know, all the weight that we carry.
Like there's just so much grit in Asian women. And even though we may seem like we are quiet or we stand behind the patriarch of the family, it's really the women that run the household. And from my own experience of studying the Vietnamese diaspora, it is the women that actually make a lot of the decisions in whether a family should flee and how the family survives in a new country like America.
Sarah: I guess I am curious, have you heard from younger generations of Vietnamese Americans who maybe haven't had the experience of fleeing a war, but who are familiar with it through their parents or their siblings? Have you heard from them just about what their reaction has been to hearing these stories and how they're processing that intergenerational trauma?
Tracey: Yeah, I mean, the majority of our podcast is designed for younger generations. And when I started it, that's you know, that's really my primary audience because I felt that they are the ones that are really trying to reconnect.
You know, a lot of it is trying to understand their parents and trying to connect with them because their lives feel so different. And I think the stories that we share allow them to do that, even though it's not necessarily their parents that are talking, but they are able to empathize with how their parents are a little bit more by listening to other parents share their stories.
Sarah: You know, I'm curious on the other end, what have you heard from the people that you've featured? Have they mentioned that they've gotten anything out of telling their stories and sharing it with others?
Tracey: Yeah, funny. I get a lot of people that after a recording session they told me it was like therapy and I should start charging people. I think, you know, for the most part, people have said that it felt good to finally share it because they hadn't shared it for so long. We had somebody on our show who did a cooking blog and her episode was Cooking from Memory. And she shared some of the experiences, the trauma in her family, but also her own experiences with dealing with sexual abuse as a child, and what that was like growing up in a Vietnamese household and not being able to talk about that. And now she openly talks about it and, you know, before. For our show. She was already talking about it, but on our show she shared it. And I think she felt like, you know, if anything, I hope other people are listening and feeling like they're not alone. And, you know, these are things that we go through and like we heal if we share it and find other communities that can empathize with us and support us.
Sarah: Oh, that's so awesome and so touching just to hear some of those reactions. And you know, lastly, you also run a Story Slam for Vietnamese-Americans. You've got another one coming up very soon. What was the first story from that Story Slam that you really remember that really stuck with you and why?
Tracey: Yeah, we've done so many. So gosh, I hate to, like, pick one because I love them all, but yeah, so our story slam is something that we started in 2020. It was supposed to be in-person, but because of the pandemic we had to make it virtual and it ended up being a great move for us because then we got people from all over submitting stories, participating and then tuning in. So every year we're very proud that there are just storytellers from all parts of the United States. And now this year it's going to be all parts of the world. And so they're all so good and they're all so different. But one that I would have to say that really stuck out to me is from one of our storytellers. Her name is Naoko and she is based in Washington State. She is a Vietnamese adoptee who is in her forties and she was adopted by Japanese expats and grew up in America.It wasn't until I think she was in college that her parents told her that she was adopted and she was from Vietnam. So she grew up with Japanese expats and she visited Japan frequently. She speaks the language and then she, you know, basically went down this journey during the pandemic of trying to find her Vietnamese birth mother.
Sarah: Oh, what an incredible story. And also, just like such an interesting kind of exploration of the complexities of being Asian-American in this country. I feel like we look into that a lot in our podcast as well. So I love hearing other people kind of delving into it in their own way.
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Sarah: Thank you so much, Tracey, for taking a moment to chat with us. That's Tracey Nguyen, host of “Vietnamese Boat People.” Her podcast tells the stories of hope, resilience and survival of Vietnamese refugees. Go ahead and give it a listen. She also runs a yearly story slam, encouraging Vietnamese-Americans to tell their own stories of their family's immigration to the United States. She's got one coming up actually on May 17, 2023. So check that out on her website to learn more. Thank you again, Tracey.
Tracey: Thank you so much, Sarah.
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Credits
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[CREDITS]
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Sarah: “Mid Pacific” is a CapRadio production, reported and hosted by me, Sarah Mizes Tan.
Our producer is Jen Picard. Associate Producer is Jireh Deng. Antonio Muniz mixed the sound.
We had editing help from Nick Miller and Shayne Nuesca. Sally Schilling is our Executive Producer. Special thanks to Alyssa Jeong Perry.
Chris Bruno is in charge of marketing. Our designs were created by Marisa Espiritu. Renee Thompson is our Digital Products Manager.
Our theme song is Can’t Hold Us Back by Polartropica. You can find it on iTunes or Spotify.
To make sure you don’t miss a single episode, be sure to subscribe, follow or add us to your podcast feed.
Thanks for listening to “Mid Pacific.”
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